Life is one day at a time.
Sometimes even one hour, minute, second at a time.
I’m juggling planning a mission trip, being a bridesmaid in a wedding (in Texas, two weeks after we get home from SA… and did I mention I’m also their graphic designer?), photoshoots, editing those photoshoots, taking 30+ hours of biblical counseling training, nursing a dying cat back to health (more on that in a second), a full-time job, and trying to fit my friends in there somewhere. Unfortunately, the friends aren’t too high on the list right now. I’m not exactly sure why they’re still my friends in the first place to be honest. I’d have ducked out long ago.
Sidenote: I don’t know how you moms do this juggling thing. I really don’t. I can barely take care of my household (me, the dog, and the cat) in the midst of the craziness. Anyway… keep on keepin’ on.
Unfortunately, the largest ball in my juggling act this week has been my cat, Jude. Ole Judy Booty. Lil Jew Boy. Judith Amanda.
Jude has been really weak for the last month or so, but it all started with him sneezing, so I just thought it might be allergies. Anyway, two weeks ago I noticed he wasn’t eating much, then I went out of town for ReFRESH® in the Smokies, and when I came home, I noticed that he hadn’t touched his food in the past five days and had therefore lost quite a bit of weight. So I took him to the vet on Monday. Turns out, he has hepatitis. Who knew cats could get that?
So all week I’ve struggled with the decision whether or not to pay for expensive treatments in the hopes that this ten-year-old cat might live (which isn’t exactly a sure thing), or if its best to just put him to sleep.
Knowing that today was decision day, I stood outside of a coffee shop in downtown Thomasville last night for over an hour discussing the pros and cons of putting him to sleep with my logical and merciful friends. (The pros obviously coming from the logical ones… the tears [cons] coming from the more merciful of us. I won’t name names.) After much angst, I woke up this morning having decided that putting him to sleep was the more logical and merciful thing to do. That way he wouldn’t suffer and, honestly, I wouldn’t have to pay for him to suffer, on the slight chance that the meds work.
However, this morning when I called the vet to ask a few more questions, he assured me that he was improving, and that if Jude were his cat, he would go with the treatments. He also reminded me that he had already done all of the expensive procedures, so I would have to pay for them anyway, whether he lived or not. So I decided to go for the treatments. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that the meds will work. However, at least now I know that if I take him in again, it will be goodbye. I don’t have to go in and say my goodbyes in a cold, smelly veterinarian’s office, I can have these days with him and say goodbye on my own terms.
So that’s been my juggling act this week. Only the Lord knows the fate of Lil Jew Boy (my Dad came up with that one:). In the meantime, I’m shoving pills down Judey’s throat and hoping he eats something… anything.
Your prayers are appreciated.
***JUDE UPDATE | MARCH 16th***
I brought Jude home yesterday in the hopes that he would continue to improve. Well, 24 hours went by and he was worse than before I took him to the vet. He wouldn’t eat anything and he could barely move. I could tell that the only thing he could think about was how much pain he was in, and I knew it was just wrong for me to make him live through that. I called the vet this afternoon and shared the details, and he said they could offer a few solutions but none of them were really a guarantee. And I just knew that it was time. The Lord had allowed me to bring him home so that I could see for myself just how bad he was, and He gave me peace in making the decision to put him to sleep. I hadn’t cried up until this point (which, if you know me well enough, is a bit of a shock)… but the moment I hung up with the vet, reality hit. Frances was already there and my mom came over, we took a few pictures and had a few laughs over the good times we had with Judy Booty (ie Frani dropping him on his head the day I got him… which my Mom has decided is why Jude got hepatitis in the first place… somehow:). Then we said our goodbyes, and left to meet my dad at the vet.
I have never been one to be super merciful when someone loses a pet. Its just a part of life. But this was harder than I thought it would be. Maybe I am a crazy cat lady after all.
So yes, I’m grateful for ten years with my little buddy, and I’m incredibly grateful for my best friend and parents going with me today. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to leave my house if they weren’t there. Love you guys. Love you Jude.